Weekend Depression is a Thing

Let’s get real, shall we? I share about my anxiety and panic attack disorder often on the blog, but not my depression. Mostly because mental illness sucks and I hate that I have so much of it.

What I have realized lately about my depression, is that it is worse when I’m taking time off work.

Umm. What?!

You would think when I have days (hours more like.. I am a freelancer after all), I get super blue and depressed. Nothing interests me. During the week when I am going on hour 13 in a single day, I want nothing more than to throw my laptop against a wall and vegetate in front of the TV. Yet when I do finally finish with work and am ready to relax, I’m unable to.

Brains are fucked up.

I actually first started noticing weirdness when I went from “Holy shit, how am I going to pay my rent AND my cable bill?” to “Cool. I’m totally caught up on bills and not stressed about money right now.”

(As a freelancer, I realize this is short-lived.)

When the stress over finances and work went away, suddenly I became more anxious and more depressed. I re-stressed myself out over the fact that I couldn’t handle the lack of stress anymore. I couldn’t figure out what the problem was. The first thought was: Do I LIKE the stress?!

I don’t think that is what I’m missing, I just think I suffer from depression, but when other things are on my mind, I don’t notice it as much. This is essentially what weekend depression is. You are finally able to relax and unwind, which is great. The bad part is that your brain has enough time to think about things, and it’s not always what you’re expecting.

I miss the days when I could sleep until noon and watch Netflix marathons for so long, I didn’t remember if I ate that day. That used to be me. Now, I am a bit of a workaholic. Anyone who knows me, understands how insane that is. I hate working. At least I used to. It’s awesome that I found something to consume me so much, because it means I am almost always motivated to keep working. The problem is that, even when I technically can take a day off, I don’t.

So, maybe it is a combination of depression and plain ole’ workaholic-ness. That’s not a word. But I’m a writer and I can make up whatever words I want.

How about you? Do you find that during the weekend you’re not quite as excited as you should be? I have a feeling I will get the typical “What is wrong with you, FREAK” responses. I totally don’t blame you. I hate me a little bit too.



Golden Globes 2015 + My Weekend in Pictures


I didn’t watch the Golden Globes (aside from Tina and Amy’s highlights because they give me a lady boner), so I’m basically the best person to review it. I bet I can guess what happened:

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were brilliant and hilarious.

Someone made an inappropriate joke on stage and half the audience laughed, while the other half tried not to scowl because they knew they were on camera and had to pretend to be decent humans.

An award winner stood on stage and talked too long because they had to thank everyone who had anything to do with their movie, including thanking the entire cast and crew by first and last name.

TV shows I have never seen won awards (Bates Hotel and Boyhood anyone?)

Lupita Nyongo looked naturally dazzling.

Instead of watching the Golden Globes, I just looked up the winners and watched celebs live-tweet it. My favorite winners were:

Julianne MooreYay redhead girl power!

Amy AdamsYay redhead girl power! Again!

Matt BomerThe only one whose show I have actually seen

Jeffrey TamborThe sweetest man in Hollywood

Kevin SpaceyWho doesn’t love Kevin Spacey? 

If you’re like me and just want the highlights without actually watching award shows, follow https://twitter.com/unfoRETTAble. She is the best live tweeter of all things awesome.


My Weekend in Pictures

We gave this little monster a bath.


I cleaned out the closet. I do have clothes, I promise.


I watched Friends while I cleaned out the closet.


I drank a screwdriver out of this cup. Classy.

screwdriver-simpsons cup

Sometimes I’m like “I have no life,” and then I take pictures of everything productive I did over the weekend and I’m like “The party never stops.” Seriously. Dog baths, chores, alcohol, and re-watching a show I have seen about a billion times. It’s amazing I’m still standing after this crazy weekend.

I hope everyone had a great weekend and is only mildly irritated it’s Monday!


Weekly Round-Up Vol. 1 // Friends, Pinterest, Bubble Baths


Monday: Zoe turned five! My monster girl turned 5 years old this week. She is as spunky and weird as always.


Wednesday: Anxiety Diaries update about learning to drive again. I share the challenges I have been facing with anxiety and how I am able to drive again.


Thursday: On Bubble Bath Day, I shared 4 fun and easy homemade bubble bath recipes. On the completely pointless holiday, I found some delicious-sounding bubble bath recipes and posted them. FYI: Totally making the apple one.


Friday: I shared my very first Friday Favorites! This was probably my second-funnest post (see the Friends post!) this week. So much pretty.


Saturday: Find out what Pinterest has taught me about myself. Basically 8 things I learned I now love. Some really surprised me!


Sunday: I listed my top 10 favorite Friends episodes! SO. HARD. If you’re a fan of Friends, try coming up with only 10 favorite episodes. I doubt anything this year will be as challenging. Because you know.. TV is super important.

10 best friends episodes

It was a pretty eventful week overall! My goal to write a post every day has (almost) worked so far, minus Tuesday where I was having an epically lazy day and didn’t do a thing.

How was your week? Did you post anything fun? Feel free to share in the comments!

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8 Things Pinterest Taught Me About Myself


Do you remember the days when you used to scour websites for images of things you liked, right-click-saved, and organized all the images into folders on your computer? No? Just me? Okay. Well, that was my version of Pinterest before Pinterest was a thing.

Over the last year or so, I have learned a lot of things about myself. There are a lot of trends that I never would have imagined liking, and now sort of love. It goes a lot further than the chevron/gray/yellow extravaganza of last year. Let’s just put that to rest, shall we?

Here are 8 things I have learned about myself since Pinterest trapped me came along:

1. I love succulents.


2. Put gold on it, and you win.


3. It’s all about the abstract art. Who knew?


4. Hedgehogs.


5. Garden sheds. I want to become a gardener just so I can have a shed.


6. Terrariums are everything. I LOVE terrariums. I have no idea why. I mean, I now realize I like succulents, so yeah.. it makes sense.


7. I’m super into shirts with animals on them.


8. Life is better with a little color. Or a lot. Or like a nausea-inducing rainbow of color.


Bubble Bath Day // 4 Homemade Bubble Bath Recipes


According to Holiday Insights, January 8th is Bubble Bath Day. They have no idea where it came from, why today was chosen, or who made it up. Which means some random person was all.. I’m going to take a bubble bath today. And everyone was like YAY BUBBLE BATH DAY. I think that’s how all the best non-holidays are created.

First, let’s take a moment to remember Mr. Bubble. You have no idea how hard it was to type Bubble and not Bubbles. I thought it was Mr. Bubbles. I will still call it Mr. Bubbles. Moving on. Did you know they still make Mr. Bubbles bubble bath?! I need it.


Now onto the recipes. If you’re not in the mood to pretend you’re a tiny human who wants a bath that smells like bubble gum, you can make an adult version. Here are 3 bubble bath recipes (and a bonus bath salts recipe) that are totally appropriate to make for an adult bath.

If you want, you can make it and just leave it on the counter so guests think you use this fancy stuff. But in reality, you’re using the Mr. Bubbles you keep under your bathroom sink.

Nobody has to know.


Apple Bubble Bath


Honey Bubble Bath


Vanilla Bubble Bath


Lavender Bath Salts


2015: The Year of the Weird


I’m not not psychic, but I’m really good at predicting things that are going to happen. So like.. psychic.

My prediction for 2015 is that it’s going to get cray.

In 2014, we saw adults wearing animal onesies, people purposely throwing ice water on their heads for charity, and Target employees gaining more Twitter fame than Kim Kardashian. (If you don’t know who Alex from Target is, look him up).

That’s nothing compared to what this year has in store for us. I say embrace it. Embrace the weird. Throw on a hoodie with cat ears, take a selfie and post that shit.

Happy New Year!


I Didn’t Miss My Alarm Clock

Credit: Laura Evans Photography

Credit: Laura Evans Photography


Now that I have been freelance writing for a few years, I am out of the habit of using an alarm clock. Before you roll your eyes, I don’t sleep in until noon. My body’s internal alarm still wakes me up between 5 and 6 am every morning. If my body doesn’t, my dogs do.

I often find myself taking for granted being able to wake up at any time I want, until I need to wake up earlier, set an alarm, and drag myself out of bed. Like this morning. My 2-week work invoice is due at 9am, so I got the brilliant idea to get up at 4 and get some last-minute work done. I lost a few days of work due to the new project not being quite ready yet, so I’m playing catch up.

For some reason in my mind, I thought it wouldn’t be that hard. I set the alarm for 4am.. only 2 hours earlier than normal. No big deal, right? Plus, it’s not like I need to go anywhere. I work from home. Simple.

Yeah, no. If I got up naturally at this time in the morning, it would be no big deal. But something happens in your brain when you HAVE to do something. All of a sudden it becomes impossible and terrible. So here I am. Up at 4, wishing I was dead. Okay not dead. Just asleep.

I see a noon-time nap in my future.