Christmas 2013: In Pictures

This post has been moved from my other blog.

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Christmas this year started with decorating trees at my mom’s house. I did the blue and silver one and half the red one. One sister did the candy one, and the other did some of the red tree. I’m clearly a decorating genius and I don’t at all just start throwing on ornaments and hope for the best.

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I then attempted to take holiday pictures of my dogs with these cute antler ears on. It didn’t go well.

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On to Christmas Eve Eve, which is when my husband and I celebrate our Christmas together, since the rest is so chaotic. The dogs got to open their stockings first. Zoe was much too quick to get a picture, but I think Moogie liked his Santa.

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Christmas Eve morning was another crazy day. I woke up at 4 am, worked until 1 pm, then manged to get 10 ornaments done and “wrapped” by 4 pm when I had to start getting ready.

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Christmas Eve was at my mom’s house and it was so busy, I only got this picture of my two pretty nieces. Regardless, it is always my favorite place to be during the holidays.

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Then Christmas Day we went to my dad’s. As it does every year, A Christmas Story came on, and like every year, my dad claimed he has never seen it. I’m not going to show you everything I got, except this:

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Me and dad (and stepmom who probably chose it) and I don’t have a lot in common, but I am starting to feel like he gets me.

And that wraps up Christmas 2013! Sorry it’s so late – I had it originally posted on my other blog, but then made a switch over here.

Byeeeee!

How to Decorate a Christmas Tree

This post has been moved from my previous blog.

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My mom wins Christmas. Not only does she have the best decorations, but she always goes overboard all out. She has not one, not two, not three, but fourChristmas trees this year. For the past few years, she has asked her daughters to help her decorate a tree. I have had the blue & white tree for a couple years in a row. It’s the best one. She would say her Victorian tree is, but clearly my tree is flawless. (Just kidding, Mom)

If you think decorating a tree involves putting ornaments on it wherever you feel like, you don’t understand how it works. I’m a lazy decorator (obviously) and would love nothing more than to throw them on and shout, “Done!” But with mom, Christmas is serious business. So here is the laziest possible way to decorate trees that look like they took longer than 10 minutes.

Procrastinate by looking at other decorations first. This helps you get into the Christmas spirit.

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Spend a minute or two admiring your new Christmas socks. Great choice, Jenn.Your feet look amazing.

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Fight with the hooks to try to unravel them. Throw them down in disgust. Don’t take a picture of that part.

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Take ornaments out of the bins one-by-one, making sure to organize them. If you just start grabbing from the box at random, your tree will look terrible.

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Choose your biggest and longest ornaments first. Forget to take pictures of the biggest ornaments, and go to the icicles next.

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Find any empty space you can to stand. Admire socks again.

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Hang just as many ornaments in the back of the tree, as the front. Otherwise you will have a tree tipping situation on your hands, and nobody wants to deal with that shit. Take a picture sideways and forget to rotate it so it makes no sense.

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Always use all of one type of ornament first, then go to the next. This helps ornaments get spread around. There is nothing worse than two of the exact same decorations next to each other. Tacky.

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Fill in the empty spaces with your balls and smaller ornaments. Make sure you don’t take pictures of that part so this entire tutorial is pointless.

Done!

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Just kidding, your sister left early so you have to return to finish hers.

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Organize her ornaments since she clearly ignored rule # 4.

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Shout “DONE!”

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